Friday, August 24, 2018

Closure

"You up for a stroll?", Uday asked Mira, peeking into her room. Before she could reply, he added "I'll be waiting by the pool" and left. Mira rolled her eyes as she peeled off her bootcut jeans and changed into her yoga pants. It had been a long drive from Delhi to Kanor. She'd been sitting in the jitney for the past five hours, gazing through the dusty window, as all signs of civilisation gradually dissipated. It was twilight by the time they had reached Kanor, a small but rather exquisite heritage hotel right in the middle of rural Rajasthan. She checked her watch- 9.45 PM. It wasn't that she didn't like the land of the kings but in this moment, she wished the company had picked Goa for their bi-annual off-site.

She plugged in her phone into the charger, slipped into her sandals and went down the stairs, covered on both sides with flushing bougainvilleas. At the foot of the stairs, she walked past a small unassuming fountain. The upper level consisted of leaves carved in white marble, from the tips of which water dropped onto the petals of the lotus below, making the cosy sound that fountains do.  She spotted Uday standing by the pool, hands in his pockets, looking ahead. Even though he stood facing the other way, she had no trouble recognising his lean silhouette. They had dated for almost two years, a romance that had started off over work emails between the business consultants. They were no longer together but their work as well as shared respect had led them to maintain a civil friendship. The death of a relationship is often trailed by the ghosts of memories past, usually an equal mix of good and bad, depending on mood of the day.

As Mira approached him, Uday turned around and smiled. "It's a beautiful night here, isn't it?", he said. Indeed, the sky was painted in the colours of the galaxy in deft strokes. Dark spotty clouds etched in another dimension. This was the backdrop against which stood the hill-fort. "Big day for you tomorrow- pitch for partner. Presentation ready?" Uday asked. "Don't know about ready, kal dekhte hain. Give me your phone though? Got to shoot myself a reminder to clear all nonsense off my browser feed. Don't want a redo of the Taher Shah fiasco.", said Mira. He handed her his phone and remarked with a grin "Why not! Maybe the boss will meet eye to eye with you on this one." Mira scowled and swatted his hand. "Ouuuuch. Careful woman", said Uday and shook his hand. Her face in immediate apology, she said "That cut still hurts, huh?". 

As they walked through the gardens, the dainty lights bathed the fort in a dewy liquid gold while the stars gleamed on above. "Lucky bloke who used to call this place home", Uday added. Mira breathed in the fresh air brimming with the scent of the raat ki rani and added "The guide said that when the government took over the palace, the entire royal family departed from their stately ways and staged a sit-in protest. In vain- the order had already been passed." Slowing his steps and turning towards her, Uday said "But of course they had to try. No purposeful man shies away from rightfully asking and fighting for what he truly desires."

"Yet you never asked for me", said Mira before she could stop herself. "I know you never think twice before going for something you want. Did that mean you never wanted me? You just disappeared, neither a reason nor a real goodbye. You left me hanging, looking for answers I could only find in my own insecurities" she continued, as she let go of all that had been bottled up. Gaping wounds tend to leak when left to heal on their own. 

Uday looked on, unable to bring to words what he wanted to say. He stood still but his whole body felt like it was shaking. He felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up, and not for the soft breeze. They walked the last few metres back in complete silence, except for the occasional comment from the crickets. For a while they stood under the stairs leading to her room, looking at each other wordlessly. Mira handed Uday his phone, kissed him gently on the cheek and walked upstairs without looking back. She turned the key in, collapsed into her soft white bed and glanced at the clock- 11.20 PM. "Uugh, better not be late tomorrow", she thought to herself and reached for her phone that flashed one notification:

'10.15 PM Uday: Reminder- Delete history '




Thursday, May 3, 2018

Summer Love

I wait for your return, half-patiently, whole-heartedly
Know that your absence has, and will be irreplaceable.
Memories of hot and sweaty summers, wasted together
Of Sunday afternoons spent over park benches
With you and portions of ice cream, way too generous
Stir up in me a storm, a tempest of urgent desire.
I revel in thoughts of you, your glowing golden skin
Your sweet syrupy fragrance that takes hold over my senses.
I hallucinate,  of the touch of you against my lips
The bite and the nibbles, the tingle on my tongue
The soft lingering kisses, that knew only of indulgence.
You've been gone for three seasons, ten months, a thousand years
But these threads that you weave, have kept me hostage.
Now, finally that Spring is packing, I shall hold you
All at once, with my eager hands, uncover you.
You and me, me and you, down and dirty
Will spare no mess, have no regard for controversy
Nevermind the wreckage, for we'll be together- my mango and me.


















Monday, February 26, 2018

Tell Me How

How do you,
Catch up with the hand that has completed the circle. It's steady pace, suddenly racing, bringing in the new hour.

How do you,
Brace your infantile heart for the loss of the familiar comforts of today, for tomorrow refuses to be stopped.

How do you,
Stop trying to fill the blank frames of the future with the smiles of the past. Nostalgia is a hungry whore.

How do you,
Accept this vacuous feeling, wary of all the impending uncertainties. Nothing empty ever felt so heavy.

How do you,
Decide what to pair with the what ifs. When the difference between what is good and what is good for you, is so faint.

How do you,
Place one foot in front of the other, when your feet are like boulders and the inertia too strong.

Tell me how,
How to stop and at the same time keep on moving.