Why we're such suckers for Flauntbook

[Even though you may feel I'm directing my words of sadistic wisdom at you, i'm not. I'm not criticizing you. I'm criticizing me and you.]

Stop. Put that down. Take a deep breath. Think. What is it about Facebook that makes us stick our tongue out and lick it like we do? Why that tab with the blue f is still open on our window? Why does every teeny apocalyptic event end up on our Facebook pages? We're 800 million people on a parade. Whether it's a new book we read, a dinner with mom, a new dress, day out in Khan Market or even a little respiratory tract inflammation (ahem ahem) , we're quicker than light itself to type it up, preferably with a chic photo, and hit Post. It's become more of a reflex where the stimulus from the sensor neuron passes straight to the motor neuron without passing through our brains. Or have our brains become bananas? We're all in a such a shameless race running for likes, comments and the post of Head Wannabe. A race is still motion in one direction, Facebook is a battlefield. You need to be equipped with strategies, armor for self respect and of course a high megapixel camera. Don't tell me you don't scan every picture taken with an eagle eye to see if it's meritable enough for profiling. More often than not, ideas for the caption preceed the event itself. Us girls, selling all the little dignity that was left in showing our backs in deep backs. Boys, undoing all those buttons from the top. (Please, let me not see your chest hair). It's become customary to tag your 'best' friend in a status on his birthday or to proclaim your love for frozen yogurt to the world. We're 'confirming' random people, just so our friend list can touch the next hundred, like it's directly proportional to our popularity. Mark Zuckerberg isn't helping the cause either, coming up with a cover photo for a horizontal show off and a places option for a geographical show off. And there are fads in the text world too. I don't know how putting a space before every punctuation makes anyone cool but it definitely makes me judgemental . And so does a 'ma' and a 'lyf''.

We're hungry for fame. We're lame. We're to blame but we'll never tame. Shame Shame.